Author of things. Person of Tea.

Ridiculous Ritings


So over the last few months, I’ve been fighting off a recurring problem which I think impacts a large number of people. Some of you may have experienced this issue both at work and at home. At work, it is less frequent, but often makes people stop, look around, and wonder. At home at least […]


This one was written a while ago – but it seemed appropriate to bring out on 6/26/2015. I want to get married. I want a big church wedding, with flowers, and candles, and brides maids and grooms men, and as much pomp and as much circumstance as the building can hold. Actually that’s all a […]

Independence Day

Epipremnum aureum. Common name, Pothos. Derived from the Latin Vulgate meaning that which grows and spreads like wildfire yet can grow even in dark closets. This amazing plant has sprung up in every restaurant, every airport, every hospital, everywhere – and the obvious benefits of such a plant are well…obvious! They add a sparkle of […]

Valentine’s Day – A History

Fluorescent Lighting. Buying Heath a book called “The Superior Person’s Book of Words”. Carpool lanes that require more than 1 person in the car. Plaid. What do all these things have to do with Valentine’s Day? They are all incredibly BAD ideas. (except for the plaid) What drives us to buy chocolates, flowers, and cards […]

Memories of Easter

What is Easter? Where did it come from? Is it solely a Christian holiday to celebrate the death and resurrection of a deity? Or is it a Pagan rite of fertility? Or perhaps it was created by a bunch of people who were really fond of rabbit fur. When I ponder my childhood, I remember […]

Music Makes a People

I originally published this in 2003, and it’s long, so grab a soda and sit for a while. I felt that during this critical time in our country, when separation is becoming the norm, instead of inclusion it might be time to remind everyone that Music Makes a People Come Together. Because look around…everywhere you […]

The Great Halloween Masacre

A short story from many, many, many years gone by… Is everyone feeling hella good??? I know that when this special dark day of the year rolls around, I’m feeling hella great! Or for adults who wear braces, or have small children, you are permitted to feel hecka great. What a joyous and fun day to […]

Beware the Hemicrania

I get headaches all the time. Not those little baby headaches that lazy people get so they can call in sick or leave early because they don’t like the project they are on and can just as easily browse the web from home as they can from work. I’m talking about the king of headaches. […]


As you all know, I’m a huge fan of words. Actually more than just a fan, I’m an addict. I use them constantly…every day…without pause. Sometimes I think that there’s nothing else I can do but use words. When I’m waking up, I use words (“oh my god not another day of this“, “turn off […]

The Alphabet Song Part II

There isn’t a part one. Well, there was, but it was crap. Not that part two is any better. After the rain clouds have Burst in the sky, out Comes the sun and Dries up all the rain. Even though you thought I was Fooling you with that rhyme, the Goal of the poem, is […]